I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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