all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
