Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
