My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
