So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
