Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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