Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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