we have officially lost it.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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