mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just want to make out with him forever
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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