I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
