Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
