): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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