If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
