Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
