I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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