I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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