The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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