If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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