Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
