I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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