69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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