Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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