i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
