dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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