I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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