I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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