She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
