THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
