He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
