I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
