THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
