I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
