hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
