shes about as inviting as chlamydia
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
