I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
