when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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