i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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