Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
