oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
