I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize