You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
