Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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