This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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