well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
accomplished twins. life is a go
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
