Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
