Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
