I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Damn victory sex feels great
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
