I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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