Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
They should really pass out barf bags in church
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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