i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I licked your asshole in confidence.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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