I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You left your phone here
Wait...
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