The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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