How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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