she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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