no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
