I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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