if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
