She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You're a waste of cheezeits
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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