does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
