You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
how do flat chested girls get laid?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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