first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
