Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
