i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
COCAINE IS GR8
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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