One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
