did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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