if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
