Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
It's just like the Real World with babies
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
