Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
